Counseling 101: How To Spice Up Your Relationship

Both you and your partner are married for a while but lately, you feel that both of you have been drifting apart. You feel like there’s something wrong in your relationship but don’t know what it is. You don’t want to break up with your significant other, but you know something has to change. So how can you make your relationship feel fresh again? Here are some counseling tips that can bring back the spark in your relationship.


Don’t Forget A Kiss – A kiss is one of the most critical parts of the relationship. It doesn’t care whether it should take seconds or minutes as long as you mean it. By doing it more often and passionately, you can positively bring back the spark in your relationship. But you have to take note that a quick smack on the lip doesn’t stir up much emotion so try to kiss your partner in a way that you can relay a message of affection.

Sexual intimacy is often one of the casualties. Time, stress, and busy schedules make it difficult for couples to find time when both partners are interested and available for sex. — Rachel Keller, LCSW-C

Be Spontaneous – You might think that after marriage, you’ll have to follow specific marital routines that can sustain your married life. No, there’s no such thing. You have to be spontaneous and allow yourselves to do things like you used to do. In this way, you not only that avoid practicing dull and fake habits, but you’ll also be able to enjoy the things you do even right before you decided to get married.

Try New Things Together – Your marriage has something to do with the countless things that you do together. You and your partner should spend time doing things that both of you can enjoy and avoid being stagnant in a routine that can eventually damage your relationship. You can explore and learn from different experiences. Remember, the secret of some of the couples’ loving relation is their willingness to do and try different new things.


Clearly, addressing problems and appreciating the positives are both essential to a healthy relationship. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD

Open Up Your Feelings – A marital problem may arise if you don’t share what’s on your mind because your partner will never know what you feel. It’s significantly important that you open every communication line between you and your significant other. Make time to talk about everything such as your desires, needs, and dreams. Be honest about your feelings so both of you can find a solution and work problems out.

Practice Physical Connection – A physical contact doesn’t only mean sex. You can at least hug each other, hold hands, massage, cuddle, or merely sit beside each other while watching a movie. Your physical connection is going to be your way by showing the affection you have for your partner.  Making time to touch one another will strengthen the bond you share because it also connects your emotional aspects as well.


Go On Dates – It seems pretty much less essential for married couples to go on a date because they have so many things to do. Their priorities change so they often forget the value of spending alone time together. There should never be a reason for putting dating aside just because you’re married. Bring back the spark in your connection and reminisce the good things about your relationship.

Giving emotionally to our partners is extremely important. To share ourselves through sex means being emotionally vulnerable to the person in our world who is the most important to us, and couples thrive on the empathy and emotional response that occurs when they are fully present with one another during sexual intimacy. — Stuart B. Fensterheim, LCSW

There are several effective ways to keep your marriage alive. You just need to understand that marriage won’t secure a future together unless you continue to work on it.