What You Need To Know About Child Counseling

 

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Child counseling is a form of therapy that centers on children, young adolescents, and teenagers with one or more mental health conditions. It offers help to the youth who have gone through trauma or experienced a stressful or dysfunctional home environment. Numerous concerns that children face are similar to those that adults are confronted with within their daily lives. Some of these typical concerns include depression, grief, and anxiety. The objective of child counseling, though, is to disintegrate issues and problems into smaller, more manageable portions so that children can better comprehend and deal with them.

The Child Counselor

A child counselor is a mental health expert who provides vital insight into your child’s emotional, social, and mental health. It is crucial to understand that many times, errors in these aspects may not be noticeable to those who are close to the child. This is where the child counselor comes in.

The child counselor is equipped with the experience and the knowledge to identify, determine, evaluate, diagnose, and manage various mental health disorders, bullying, grief, adjustment matters, and psychological distress. More particularly, the child counselor, who is known as a child psychologist or child therapist, has been trained to handle children in a way that can assist them in finding meaning to what is going on in their bodies, minds, and in general their lives.

The Functions Of A Child Counselor

A child counselor performs several services to the precious youth. Significantly, this competent mental health professional knows to assist your child in getting the help she needs to solve her issues and get back to her productive, healthy life. It is significant to note that children who have mental health problems might not open up their feelings to their parents. This is not because your child does not care for you. Instead, it happens because he does not want to frustrate you.

Thus, the objective of the child counselor is to aid children so that they can better decipher the concerns that they are going through or the trauma that happened – in a way that they digest. When a child’s emotional and social problems and psychological distress are neglected, it can harmfully affect his educational dreams and development. Additionally, it can result in disruptions that progress throughout adulthood. Remember, however, that kids – ranging from toddlers, preschoolers, teenagers to adolescents, can take advantage of child counseling.

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When You Should Seek Counseling

When a toddler or young adolescent has social, emotional, or mental distress or trauma, it can be difficult to deal with, particularly when it seems like no other technique or method can resolve the situation. Here, the child counselor is truly beneficial.

This mental health specialist can determine the primary concerns that impact your child’s general health and wellness to get the child’s treatment quickly. The fact is that a lot of children are incapable of completely process the complications that go along with the psychological or emotional concerns they are going through, so counseling is most probably what your child needs to achieve optimal mental wellness.

As parents, we want our children to be happy and healthy. Still, oftentimes circumstances happen that we merely can’t resolve by ourselves – particularly when we have exerted our efforts in almost all situations since we are parents. These are situations when we will need the help and guidance of an expert in the field.

Hence, it would help if you found a child counselor for your child when you notice that he is behaving abnormally or is struggling. A child counselor will educate him about useful strategies that would help him become better.

Problems That Child Counselors Deal With

Child counselors deal with a range of problems. For example, they treat a child who has gone through trauma or unpleasant events such as the death of a parent, pet, sibling, etc. They also manage those who have experienced bullying or abuse. Fundamentally, child counselors can deal with any problem that causes emotional or social distress or certain mental health disorders in children. The objective of these professionals is to support and guide your child in recognizing and coping with any problem that he is going through positively.

Some typical problems that child counselors manage include:

  • The death of a loved one, the loss of a pet, etc.
  • Witnessing a traumatic event
  • Divorce of parents
  • Bullying
  • Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse
  • Mental health disorders, such as depression and anxiety
  • Moving into a new home, school, or state
  • Alcohol or drug abuse in the family

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How To Tell If Your Child Requires Counseling

There are several indications that your child may require counseling. For example, a child who is starting to behave rather abnormally or out of his usual behavior will benefit from a visit to a child counselor. Additionally, if your child has gone through a traumatic event currently or previously but has not gotten any treatment for it, that child will have a higher likelihood of consulting with a child counselor.

 

 

How Counseling Can Help Manage Alcoholism

 

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People who are suffering from alcohol dependence believe that they will be unable to function normally without alcohol. Drinking becomes one of the top priorities in their life.

Here are some of the most typical symptoms that may suggest that you have an alcohol problem.

  • Inability to control your drinking habit. You desire to drink daily, and when you begin, you can’t stop.
  • You feel a strong craving for alcohol that disrupts your daily activities.
  • You often want to stay in bars and pubs.
  • Your breakfast always includes alcohol (or perhaps you take it alone without breakfast).
  • You develop a tolerance to alcohol, so you need more of it to feel the effects.
  • You don’t acknowledge that you have a drinking problem. You frequently downplay the harmful effects or complain that family and friends are overthinking about your issues.
  • You start neglecting the other parts of your life, like your family, work, sports, and other hobbies.
  • You get anxious about when you are going to drink again, and the social events you plan are often around alcohol.
  • If you try to quit, you have withdrawal symptoms like shakiness, anxiety, nausea, insomnia, irritability, and fatigue.

How Alcohol Develops

Alcoholism is a kind of addiction. The two typical kids of addiction include psychological and physical addiction.

Psychological. In some situations, individuals become dependent on alcohol as a means to cope with certain psychological problems. Drinking alcohol somehow fills a void and helps them block unpleasant experiences and alleviate the stress from these problems. Psychological addiction is not caused by chemical alterations found in the brain. Most people drink excessively so that they won’t feel their painful emotions.

This variation of alcohol abuse may result in additional problems. Others might begin to feel severe emotions of despair, guilt, and shame. Consequently, a harmful cycle of alcohol reliance develops.

Physical. Individuals who crave casual drinking belong to this variation. When they see, smell, or think about alcohol, it produces some pleasure. Because of the chemical alterations in the brain, chronic drinkers begin to want the pleasure and emotional relief that alcohol produces.

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Yielding to this craving will increase the desire to drink alcohol again. An alcoholic’s body gradually becomes familiar with alcohol so that it doesn’t produce the same effect anymore. This tolerance only elicits further desire to drink, and if a person attempts to stop, they develop withdrawal symptoms, trapping them in a hazardous cycle of alcohol reliance.

How Counseling Can Help With Alcoholism

The initial step towards managing and eventually overcoming alcohol dependence is to acknowledge that there is a problem. People who struggle with alcohol abuse can conveniently persuade themselves that there is no problem or trying their best to fight it. But these thought patterns are negative and unhealthy and might make some people increase their likelihood of harming themselves.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is among the most successful types of alcohol treatment. This type of counseling deals with behavioral and thought patterns to destroy certain psychological or emotional connections to habits. By understanding the primary thought processes and emotions that lead to addiction, alcoholics can eventually learn to take control of their desire to drink.

In the long term, they will unravel new methods and strategies that help tackle their issues and uncertainties without turning to alcohol. Counselors can provide professional guidance and support that alcoholics need to change their lives for the better.

Helping People With Alcoholism

Alcohol addiction – or any form of addiction, for that matter – can overshadow a person’s thoughts and control his actions. It dominates his thoughts and alters the direction of his life. Logically, this is extremely hard for parents, children, workers, friends, and others to manage.

It isn’t easy to know how to support a person who has become alcohol-dependent. If you have a loved one who is a problem drinker, getting help can be frustrating. He would often deny his addiction and make it more difficult to encourage him to get help. Excessive alcohol consumption is tremendously harmful to one’s physical and mental well-being and can ultimately produce deleterious and irreversible effects.

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Almost always, humiliation is associated with alcoholism and can be a challenge to surpass when seeking help. A great initial step is to urge alcoholics to consult with their primary care physician. They will be able to talk about the treatments and services accessible to them, like counseling or psychotherapy, to help them recover from the addiction. Remember that addiction can control your loved one’s life, so strive to support him the best way that you can.

When Looking For An Alcohol Abuse Counselor

There are apparently no rules requiring a specific level of training for counselors who work in alcohol addiction. Still, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence or NICE has gathered some clinical regulations that outline suggestions about treatments with medications and therapy and what type of services can help people with alcohol addiction. Key suggestions include medications and psychological treatments that can help individuals avoid alcohol or decrease their level of drinking to a less hazardous degree and planned withdrawal from an alcoholic beverage, which helps individuals quit drinking safely.

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions About The Difference Between Online And Traditional Therapy

With the quarantine in place, many individuals who need urgent mental and emotional help have shifted from traditional therapy sessions to newer online methods. In fact, according to the World Health Organization, at least 70 percent of countries today are embracing teletherapy services. And with more and more people trusting digital media nowadays, online therapy is slowly becoming a good mental health option along with Traditional Type.

While both types of therapy aim to address mental health issues adequately, they are very different in many ways.

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One obvious difference between traditional and online therapy is the methodology or material being used to communicate.

In traditional therapy, you get to see your therapist inside his clinic or hospital room often. You may address your issues and matters face to face. Through that, you hear your therapist’s responses right away. In this method, you also have to book an appointment and be physically present yourself, which can be a hassle for many people with busy schedules.

In online therapy, many digital mediums are in use. Today, teletherapy expands its service via texts, email, phone calls, chats, or video conferencing. The variety of methods allow people to have more flexibility and control over their time. Meanwhile, there are online therapies conducted through real-time phone or video calls. Sometimes, this particular type may result in limited responses and untimely delays due to connectivity issues. 

Generally, both in-person and online therapy costs the same, especially if acquiring services from the same medical institution or private clinic. Although sometimes, online therapists charge their clients not by the number of sessions held but through the subscription method. It means you have to pay them weekly or monthly, depending on your plan. If opting for this scheme, you might incur higher fees than per-session charges in traditional therapy.

Additionally, you must also consider the amount of money you would use before acquiring the service. An in-person therapy requires physical attendance, which entails costs for driving or transportation. Teletherapy may charge you greater internet fees or network costs for using digital mediums such as phone calls and video conferencing. 

In this time, where a need for mental health therapy is booming, one must not fall short in taking note of their privacy. In-person therapy sessions ensure privacy through the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). Online therapy can be risky and daunting for your confidentiality. What makes teletherapy sessions prone to these risks is the medium of communication used. Make sure that when acquiring service from an online provider, they use a video platform that is HIPAA-compliant.

If you want to know how to differentiate online and traditional therapy and discover which type suits your needs, the following set of FAQs can surely help.

Is there a difference between counseling and therapy?

Generally speaking, there is no difference between counseling and therapy. Both treatment approaches can help those who have psychological disorders. However, counseling is usually short-term. Meanwhile, therapy requires more skills and qualifications for its provider.

What are some possible advantages and disadvantages to online therapy?

Online therapy has been a significant help with the ongoing pandemic. Some sites and applications offer free and affordable mental health services. However, some people see factors of privacy concerns as a disadvantage to online therapy. There is also an issue with unreliable technology or internet service providers.

What is traditional therapy?

Traditional therapy is in-person consultations with a licensed mental health provider. Traditional therapies usually take place in the therapist’s office.

Is online therapy as effective as in-person therapy?

There is not enough evidence of online therapy’s effectiveness. However, individuals who underwent teletherapy have shown significant improvement and progress in their conditions. This evidence renders the treatment approach convenient and functional.

What type of doctor is a therapist?

Practicing therapists are not medical doctors. Instead, they have a doctoral degree in psychology. They also have supplementary and extensive training in providing therapy. Some possess a different degree but also have secondary skills in therapy and certification. These qualifications allow them to work as a therapist.

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How do I choose a counseling theory?

Therapists will recommend the right treatment approach for you. There are various counseling theories to choose from. However, they are often dependent on the kind of situation or condition a patient has.

Is online therapy cheaper?

Many find online therapy cost-effective. Some online therapy applications and sites even provide their services for free. Others have a subscription plan. Not to mention that individuals do not have to worry about gas or transportation money. These factors usually contribute to the expenses.

What is online therapy called?

Online therapy is also sometimes called e-therapy, teletherapy, or cyber-therapy. All of these terms mean the same. It means getting mental health services through the internet.

What are the benefits of online therapy?

One of the benefits of online therapy that many people like is its convenience and accessibility. With it, anyone has access to psychological services in the comforts of their home. It is also cheap, as some online therapies are available at no cost. Patients can also schedule each session at their own time and convenience.

Is online therapy any good?

Yes. Recent studies show that online therapy can be as equally effective as traditional therapy. Many patients had seen progress with their condition when they started receiving treatment through the internet.

Which is better, BetterHelp, or TalkSpace?

Depending on your needs, both applications offer quality mental health services. However, if you are more into video conferencing, you might find BetterHelp more helpful. On the other hand, if you prefer chatting or messaging, Talkspace may be the right option for you.

Does Blue Cross cover online therapy?

The majority of Blue Cross Blue Shield Insurance does cover teletherapy. However, it is still best to ask your mental health service provider if they have a partnership with Blue Chapters. You can also find a list of BCBS-covered online therapy sites on the internet.

What are the 3 types of counseling?

First, you have directive counseling, wherein the counselor or therapist plays an important role. The therapist has authority over counseling sessions. There is also non-directive counseling, which offers freedom of expression for the client. The third one is eclectic counseling. It is a combination of the two types mentioned earlier.

What is the best counseling approach?

The best counseling approach depends on an individual’s condition. Research finds that a behavioral system is more suited for mood disorders like depression and anxiety.

What are the three theories of Counseling?

The three main counseling theories include:

  1. Psychodynamic, which focuses on an individual’s conscious and unconscious minds
  2. Behavioral, which aims to understand how cognition affects a person’s behavior
  3. Humanistic, this approach emphasizes one’s unique characteristics and abilities.

Conclusion

You don’t have to worry about the effectiveness of either therapy method. According to a recent study, online therapies are just as helpful and beneficial as in-person therapies. Moreover, a 2014 research revealed that cognitive behavior therapies held through an online mode are as effective as traditional therapies in combating anxiety disorders. 

In choosing between traditional or online therapies, what you must consider instead is the therapist. If you see that a therapist fits your preferences, you can be more motivated to follow up and continue your progress. A good therapist can take care of your condition, especially if you have a more comprehensive treatment plan.  Considering your therapist’s health institution or clinic is the first step in finding the best healthcare service you deserve.

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In choosing online therapy, pick a platform that employs qualified therapists. Most online therapy providers let you choose who you would want as a therapist based on your preferences, such as your present mental or emotional needs.

In this way, you can be sure that your journey to wellness, even remotely,  is still achievable.

Frequently Asked Questions About Anxiety Supplements

Ever since I got diagnosed with anxiety disorder, things in my life changed. I no longer feel confident about myself, I sometimes cry a lot in my room, I often feel worried about unnecessary things, and I become emotionally unstable. My anxiety brought up a whole new struggling experience to my already damaged and out of control life.

Fortunately, with the help of therapy, I somehow managed to get through my mental health condition symptoms. So far, things are getting better as I paved myself to the process of talk therapy and medication. But I firmly believe that those two are not enough. That is why I also take the recovery process to the next step. Right now, I am focused on self-care. I always make sure to become physically active, and I work on my meditation hours five times a week. I disciplined myself, and I take my health seriously, so I also take vitamins and supplements.

Of course, not because popping pills work fine for me does not mean it can work for you. Be mindful to ask your doctor about it before taking any.

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What vitamins help with anxiety and panic attacks? 

The most recommended evidence-based supplements for anxiety are Valerian root, Multivitamins, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Vitamin B complex, L-theanine, and Omega-3.

These are effective natural ingredients of supplements that you should consider. But then again, always consult a doctor for recommendations and prescriptions.

 Is there a natural supplement for anxiety? 

The most common supplement for anxiety is Valerian. Though it is widely used as a specific relief for insomnia, it works best with the mental health condition. That is because sleep issues are often caused by anxiety. Thus, the valerian root becomes excellent in providing a restful night’s sleep.

Valerian root appears to be harmless and non-habit forming when taken internally at the recommended dosage. Its effectiveness in sleep and relaxation improvement is superb, making it a suitable treatment for anxiety reduction.

 What deficiency causes anxiety? 

A vitamin D deficiency could also be linked with anxiety disorders. People with symptoms of anxiety had lower levels of a by-product of vitamin D called calcidiol. Thus, it reveals that low levels of vitamin D trigger the brain’s chemical changes responsible for increased anxiety levels.

 How can I stop panic attacks naturally and fast? 

Stop panic attacks naturally by using these strategies: deep breathing, meditation, and muscle relaxation techniques. Start by closing your eyes and finding a focus object. From there, picture your happy place. It is vital to recognize that you have a panic attack to make your way through mindfulness.

Remember not to force yourself to work on these methods if you think you can’t manage them instantly. Take things slowly. Always be mindful to focus on your overall health.

 How can I calm my anxiety fast? 

You can calm your anxiety fast if you consider taking a time-out. Understand your mind and body’s needs. These include enough sleep, proper hydration, regular exercise, and a balanced meal. It is essential to spend time caring for yourself as much as possible. Do your best to avoid consuming damaging products such as alcohol, cigarettes, and junk foods.

It would be an excellent option if you can supply yourself with enough vitamins and minerals too. But before taking any pill, please ask your doctor for recommendations. That way, you will know the dosage and effects of the supplements you are about to take.

 What helps anxiety naturally? 

Things that naturally help eliminate anxiety are regular exercise, meditation, enough sleep, a healthy diet, and deep breathing. You can also include nature viewing, gardening, journaling, drinking tea, and painting since they too can naturally help reduce certain levels of anxiety.

Honestly, there are many ways you can reduce your anxiety naturally. You have to find the right one that will fit your needs. Always be attentive to your power to change your mindset, so the first thing you should do is focus on self-care.

 Which vitamin is best for anxiety? 

The best vitamins that play an important role in several bodily functions and help deal with anxiety include Vitamin D, Magnesium, L-Theanine, Ashwagandha, and valerian root.

 How do I stop severe anxiety? 

You can naturally stop your anxiety with the help of exercise. It does not have to be an intense workout. You have to move your body more frequently. You can also try meditation and other forms of relaxation techniques, such as yoga. You can start by focusing on your breathing and learning your inner balance. You can also try writing or journaling. Input your thoughts and feelings in your writing so you can reflect on them from time to time. There is also time management where you spend time with loved ones and with pets. You can also use cannabidiol and aromatherapy for added relaxation. You can also drink herbal tea or take herbal supplements.

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 What to drink to calm nerves? 

You can try some of these favorite calming drinks. There’s peppermint tea, valerian root tea, kava tea, and of course, warm milk.

 Which fruit is good for anxiety? 

Research has already proven that a diet rich in vitamin C helps calm your mood and place your overall well-being in a good state of mind. With that particular vitamin, you think of citrus fruits ranging from oranges, grapefruits, sweet limes, lemons, and tangerines.

 Is Magnesium good for anxiety? 

Research shows that Magnesium helps with brain functions by reducing stress and anxiety levels. It plays a significant role in keeping the nervous system healthy and active. It supports the activation of chemical mechanisms that promotes calmness. In particular, magnesium glycinate is more useful for chronic stress, insomnia, inflammatory conditions, and anxiety.

 Does CBD help anxiety? 

Some research backs up the claim that CBD products help treat social anxiety and other certain anxiety disorders. But it is crucial to realize that there should be a required right amount of dosage in terms of taking the medication regularly.

 How do you calm yourself during a panic attack? 

There are better ways to calm yourself during a panic attack. One is the utilization of deep breathing. That particular process can help you recognize that you have a panic attack. From there, you can work on your focus. Shift your thoughts into something that can take your attention off of your situation. Focus on an object or a person. Picture yourself in a happy place and relax your muscles. Do not get too overwhelmed with your emotions and concentrate on mindfulness.

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 What’s the difference between panic attacks and anxiety attacks? 

Panic attacks usually take place even without a trigger. It can be dangerous since symptoms of a panic attack are intense and often disruptive. Certain factors have significant roles in it, including genetics, major stress from life events, or predisposition to trauma. Meanwhile, anxiety responds to a perceived stressor or threat that often makes you feel like losing control. It also associates with physical symptoms such as heart palpitations or chest pain.

 Does drinking water help a panic attack?

Drinking enough water is a significant measure in controlling anxiety. Water can create feelings of relaxation. If it helps, you can also consider drinking Valerian Root Tea, Green Tea, Oat Straw Drink, Tart Cherry Juice, Fresh Fruit, and Vegetable Juice Anti-Anxiety Smoothie.

 

Why Getting Angry Is Good For Mental Health Sometimes

When you are a child of Pilates and yoga instructors like me, all you learn in life is how to be zen. From the young age of five, I could already copy advanced yoga poses and control my breathing. At 11 years old, I would come along with Dad at the Pilates studio and strengthen my body while filling myself with calmness. When I turned 16, Mom allowed me to lead her meditation class, knowing that I already knew what to do.

Every time I mentioned this timeline to other people, they assumed that my parents forced me to do all that. Well, they honestly influenced me, but there’s no forcing that took place. I wanted to learn how to do yoga and Pilates and meditate on my own because I saw how happy and peaceful Mom and Dad were all the time. They were always aware of each other’s feelings and would not do anything to undermine one another. Hence, a girl could only pray to be like them.

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Talking About Anger

Since my environment had always been zen, and my parents homeschooled me until high school, I got saved from all the drama that most teenagers probably experienced. I didn’t have classmates scheming behind my back or teachers trying to make my school days a living hell. As for proms and similar occasions, the public institution nearby invited me, but I graciously declined. Some people said I would be missing a significant part of my life by saying no to those, but how could I miss anything that I never tried?

Nevertheless, when I graduated from high school, a lot of things changed. I could continue homeschooling, but Mom and Dad encouraged me to leave the nest, claiming I was already prepared to do so. I applied to different universities and chose to enroll at NYU. It was closest to home, although I would need to stay in a dorm because commuting for two hours daily would be a hassle.

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The thing is, I experienced many instances that challenged my ability to remain peaceful in any situation. For one, I ended up with three roommates who couldn’t pick up after themselves. There were always books, bottles of water, and bras all over the room, and asking them nicely to clean up wasn’t working. Then, many of my classmates seemingly did not know that group projects were activities done by the group. We ended up passing individual projects, or I had to take one for the team and do it for everyone. What genuinely made me lose my marbles, though, was when my first boyfriend cheated. 

His name was Matt, a dreamy Fine Arts sophomore who I happened to share a café table with one day. We hit it off correctly, especially since we both loved meditating and doing yoga. I thought I would finally have someone to do couples yoga with, and it did happen for a couple of months. However, when I tried to surprise Matt and went to his apartment without calling him first, I got surprised when another woman answered the door. Naked, no less.

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To this day, I didn’t know where I got the energy to charge past the naked woman and look for Matt (who was also naked in the kitchen, by the way) and slap him hard. He tried to explain despite all the evidence of his infidelity, and I slapped him one more time. Before I left the apartment, I said, “Don’t bother coming anywhere near me. If I cross paths with you or your slut ever again, there would be hell to pay.”

Benefits Of Getting Angry

I was brave to do and say those parting words to my ex, wasn’t I?

I went back to the dorm, still shaking from anger, but my head was much clearer than when I was meditating. I could remember all the telltale signs that Matt wasn’t always honest with me; I just chose to ignore them and avoid being confrontational.

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However, thanks to my ex’s infidelity, I became a fool no more. It pushed me to confront Matt immediately and break things off with him before he could do it. No, I refused to give him that satisfaction. And I was never violent, but I knew that he deserved the two hard slaps he got from me.

Furthermore, getting angry helped me see that I didn’t need a man like Matt. Although it would have been easy to forgive him and believe that he would never repeat his mistake, I still knew deep down that he might do it again. After all, he already got a taste for it and broke my trust in the process. That’s a problem that I didn’t want looming over our heads.

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Final Thoughts

I came home that same weekend and told my parents about my first heartbreak. I initially thought that they would say, “Oh no, you should’ve dealt with the matter more calmly, honey.” Thus, I was shocked and happy when Dad said, “That guy’s lucky that I wasn’t in New York. Otherwise, he’d get more than a slap from me.” Mom even added, “You did great, baby girl. Never let anyone step all over you.”

While I don’t think I’d enjoy getting angry regularly, I figured that it would sometimes be good for my mental health.

When Is Counseling Right For My Family?

 

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There is no doubt that when all members of the family are well and happy, it seems like nothing is going to be wrong. It is the joy of fathers when their relationships with their families are smooth, loving, and strong. However, families don’t experience this all the time. The anxiety and stress caused by the challenges of the modern world, including debts, illness, and mental health problems can take a toll on a family at any time.

Background

Having issues with money, when children go into puberty or if they have disabilities, or behavioral problems do require some assistance to be resolved. A lot of families have an inherent resilience to different kinds of problems, but even the strongest families often feel that they can’t do it on their own and may need someone outside of the circle to help them smoothen the rough patches. And when it comes to counseling, deciding if when the right time is for the family to go into it is most definitely a big decision to make. Some families may think that giving in to therapy means that they have given up on the thought that they can do it, but the truth is, being open to family counseling can be essential in learning better ways to communicate and to work through the challenges and being able to connect and understand each other better.

When Is The Right Time

If your family is going through one or more of these warning signs, it might be the right time to think about going to a certified professional family counselor.

  • The family members are showing intense emotional responses. Perhaps the eldest is expressing his annoyance through rage, or mom is exhibiting extreme anxiety, depression, or sadness.

 

  • The family is having trouble living their daily activities in a normal and smooth fashion. You may feel that one or more members looked drained, irritated, or burdened over something that is sometimes relatively insignificant.

 

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  • There is a remarkable interruption in the way the family communicates with one another. Have you noticed that you are having more trouble making conversations with some family members? Are they giving you the silent treatment for some time now?

 

  • Some or all of the family members seem to step away from family life. They each have probably noticed the change in the dynamics, they slowly withdraw from the circle, not going to get-togethers and most often going out with others instead of wanting to be with family.

 

  • Behavioral changes are seen particularly the way kids act in school or at home. Their grades might be failing, or they may have attendance issues because the parents are unable to do their duties to their children. In severe cases, parents have difficulty controlling their own kids.

 

  • Some family members are engaged in illicit drugs or too much alcohol. Others may also be diagnosed with eating disorders or a bad case of anxiety.

 

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The Family Counselor

Finding the right family counselor may not be that easy and convenient. Here are some recommendations so you can begin your search for the right counselor that the family needs.

Consult your primary doctor. The doctor can usually provide a referral for his patient to a certified and professional family counselor. Through their years of education and clinical experience, family counselors, more or less, have an insight into which therapist or counselor might provide your family with the best care. So it is best to ask your doctor about it. He may know great counselors in your area.

Consider online recommendations. If you search the web, you will find lists of hundreds of therapists in your area and their specializations. Try looking into the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy for starters. They have an online locator service that allows you to find a counselor in your specific geographic area.

Personal recommendations also matter. Referrals from people who have tried going to counseling are among the best sources. Families who recommend their own counselors are something to consider, as they have experienced therapy with this counselor and have taken advantage of his care and services. In case someone does give you name, inquire more about him – his style of counseling, his personality, etc.

Ask questions. When you have found a counselor to interview for a possible working relationship with your family, it is only wise to ask these questions:

  • Did you finish the specific course of family therapy or a related area of medicine?
  • Where did you finish your degree?
  • Were you under strict clinical supervision during your internship?
  • How many years have you been practicing?
  • What is your style of family counseling? There are various schools of thought in the context of family therapy, and as a concerned family member who wants what’s best for her family, you want to know how the counselor views the family and what kind of techniques does he use in his treatment?

 

Conclusion

 

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Agreeing to consult a family counselor in managing your family problems is certainly a big move that needs careful consideration and discussion among family members. However, there have been many testimonials from families who have shared stories of how counseling has become a vital part in bridging the gaps and breaking down barriers in their family relationships. Why not give it a try? Going into counseling does not mean you accept failure – it only means that you believe the family requires a channel for reconciliation and healing.

 

 

Lockdown Confession: Are You With The Right Person?

It is not always safe to say that you believe in having found the one when you are in a relationship. You get those butterflies in your stomach, and you can’t stop yourself from smiling. Therefore, you conclude that your partner is the one for you. However, in a more realistic nature of the relationship, the commitment is different. That is especially when both of you are dealing with an uncontrollable situation. Take this pandemic as an example. There are stress and anxiety everywhere. Thus, both of you encounter things that are often too much to handle. So putting your confidence aside, how sure are you that you are with the right person?

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You Suddenly Become Unhappy

Understandably, this global health situation can trigger a lot of emotions. Sometimes, it contributes to mental and emotional stress that often affects your ability to deal with people. Most times, it can cut your patience short. But with all the realizations you get from being lockdown, would you be able to tell yourself that your fading feelings cause your unhappiness? Or perhaps you are only frustrated because you can’t seem to accept the situation? Whatever your reasons are when you are always unhappy with your partner, maybe you are with the wrong person.

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You Feel A Lot Of Stress

Aside from the stress, you get from this whole health crisis, when your relationship becomes too much to bear, then perhaps you are not in the right commitment. While it is natural to worry about relationships from time to time, there comes a moment that your stress level sets the alarm. So you better ask yourself whether your relationship is worthy of keeping, especially if it’s not giving you all the mental and emotional relaxation you deserve.

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Too Many Expectations

Everyone envisions a perfect relationship and a partner. That’s why you have preferences. However, when you find yourself modifying those expectations only to fit the type of partner you want, then perhaps it’s time for you to consider asking yourself how much you are willing to compromise. Because admittedly, you will never end up with a person who has all the qualities you desire. If you can’t come to terms with your partner’s character, maybe you shouldn’t be with him or her. If you put too many expectations, you will not only lose your partner but yourself as well.

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You Feel There’s Something Wrong

In a relationship, there is often a time when your gut tells you that something is wrong. However, the problem is you can’t pinpoint it. That is where it becomes beneficial to sometimes listen to your instinct. If you have this feeling or hearing a constant voice that tells you are with the wrong person, you might want to consider that thought. Though our subconscious always doesn’t form coherent signs, it is essential that we sometimes listen to it. Perhaps when you start questioning yourself why you are still in the relationship, you might figure out what’s wrong.

Takeaway

It is usual for couples to have their doubts from time to time. It is only natural to question yourself whether you want to stick with the relationship or not. But if there is nothing entirely wrong with the relationship, there is no need to let go. Remember, leaving a relationship because you are not happy anymore will not contribute to the betterment of the next relationship. Because sometimes, the only way to convince yourself that you are with the right person is when you truly accept that there is no such thing as a “right person.”

How The Lockdown Ruined My Marriage

Before the world panicked and went on a full lockdown state, everything in my life was fine. But now, I am confused. I experienced tons of anxiety and stress lately, and I merely want this pandemic to be over. I am so angry that I can’t find a specific way to express how I feel. I am hurt and disappointed with what was happening right now. But most importantly, I am devastated and heartbroken because this lockdown is supposed to strengthen my marriage. But unfortunately, it ruined it.

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People are okay with the lockdown. They view it as an opportunity to bond with their families. But in my case, it was a disastrous moment. I was expecting the lockdown to give me and my husband time for each other. But unfortunately, he managed to use this situation to distance himself from me. I attempted to talk to him on this matter, and I was confident he could not avoid me. It is just the two of us in an empty house, so I thought there is no point in ignoring me. But I was wrong. The four corners of our home became my husband’s fortress for isolation.

Admittedly, we have an unresolved issue way before the outbreak happened. The cold gestures and all that silent treatment, it was a complicated matter that I know we need to address. And given the pandemic situation, I was hopeful that this particular measure would allow us to discuss our differences. But then again, I was only being too positive about fixing everything that I didn’t consider my husband’s say on reconciliation.

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I Was Too Blind To See

Even before there was no pandemic situation, mobile addiction already controlled my husband. When he got up in the morning, the first thing he checked is his phone. Before he leaves for work, he always ensures that he had his device with him. And even when he got back from a tiring task at the office, he spends the rest of the day scrolling and watching videos in it. I was naïve to think that it was okay. I thought it is just part of the relationship where you allow your partner to do whatever he wants because he deserves it. But I was blind to see that so I never complained about it even once before. I failed to realize that his habit will grow to a severe psychological condition. And now that there is a lockdown, the situation attached him more to the mental illness.

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For more than a month of being stuck in the house with a mobile addict, I realized that I need to help my husband. His condition was getting out of hand. So I tried to talk to him out of it. I was hopeful that my partner would appreciate and listen to me. Unfortunately, things went on a different path. Instead of my husband realizing his wrongdoings, he blamed me for what is happening to our marriage. I was speechless because I would never have thought that not being so strict about his smartphone usage could end up in a destructive argument. It was then that I realized that it was an argument that I lost a battle with long before this pandemic happened.

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With no friends to physically comfort me in times like this, I feel so alone. Spending my entire home quarantine with a person who doesn’t want and love me anymore is far worse than getting infected with the Coronavirus. How I wish I could turn back time and recognize the damage of too much phone usage. Now, it’s too late.

How To Help Your Depressed Parent

 

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Seeing your mom or dad in a depressive state more often than not has a vast impact on the offspring’s perspective. Questions like “Is it because of something I did or didn’t do?” and “Am I not enough reason for them to be happy?” may start filling your head at one point. But understand from here on out that it may not even be because of you.

Parents tend to experience some depression when they go through a significant change. It can come right after retiring from work, getting a divorce, losing a beloved, or sending off the kids to college. The symptoms may disappear once they get accustomed to their new life. If the condition remains the same for weeks, though, it’s your job as the child to help your depressed parent in any way possible.

The aim is to learn to regulate your emotions – and note that regulating emotions is not the same as controlling. — SUSAN J. O’GRADY, PHD

Below are the three tips on how to be effective at that.

 

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  1. Recognize Their Pain

 

People, in general, avoid receiving assistance from others who belittle or can’t understand what caused them to feel down. Thus, you need to show your folks that you see where they’re coming from and that you want to help them get over it.

It’ll also be great if you recognize that their negative emotions won’t go away instantly. There’s a process for that. You just have to stay by their side without judgment at all times.

 The practice of gratitude journaling is an effective way to build resilience and optimism, which act as antidotes to that negative voice. Gratitude journaling is a practice of focusing on things in your life that are positive. — SAUNDRA JAIN, MA, LPC, PSYD

  1. Encourage Your Parent To Share Their Woes

 

It is quite common for parents to keep problems to themselves to prevent burdening their children. That can happen as well even when the kids are old enough to live independently. Rather than saying they aren’t OK, therefore, they always put on a happy face in front of the brood.

Despite that façade, you perhaps know your parent too well to realize if they’re truthful or not. In case you notice them going down the depression alley, get out of your way to reassure them that you’re there once they’re ready to talk. Sometimes, individuals need that kind of encouragement to be able to speak up about their issues.

 

  1. CallOr Visit Them Every Day

 

The ideal action when your parent is in a depressive state is to persuade him or her to live with you. Or, move back in with them so that you’ll be able to monitor their condition. However, if your job location doesn’t allow you to do the latter, or your old folks just won’t leave their place, you may resort to regular visits and daily calls instead.

What a depressed parent needs to feel is that they are still valuable to you and other members of the family. The fact that you probably have a life of your own and no longer asks for money from them may amplify their helplessness and hopelessness, which are a couple of depression signs. Hence, you should let them detect your love and care often.

Besides, doing so will give you the opportunity to look for signs of suicidal tendencies. Thoughts of death easily flood a depressed person’s brain, especially when they have nothing to do. You won’t then have regrets too once you stop them from making such a horrible – and irreversible – decision.

 

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We all needed the “good enough” mother, and we also need the “good enough therapist.” We are not perfect. — Sarah Jenkins, MC, LPC

If all else fails, you may coax your mom or dad to get therapy. They may not be amiable at first, but you have to try to help them get out of depression.