Marital issues are inevitable, and couples should understand the importance of its process. There is always a time that both husband and wife will develop a complicated view of their relationship. Sometimes, the decision lies on whether they would end it or try to fix the issues. Here are some counseling tips that you can do when you feel that your marriage is falling apart.
Write down the consequences of your unhealthy habits, including both positives and negatives. The downsides might be so obvious to you that it’s easy to ignore their benefits. — SETH J. GILLIHAN, PHD
Talk About The Problem
Instead of avoiding or starting a conflict, you can as well sit down and talk about the issue that complicates your relationship. From there, both of you will be able to understand what each of you is undergoing emotionally. It will lessen the tension when you try to cooperate in resolving your marital issues instead of ignoring the source of the problem.
Listen To Your Partner
Communication is a two-way process. When you want to tell your partner about the things that stress you in a relationship, you should at least try to consider listening to them as well. Listening will help in resolving some misunderstanding and allow both of you to have a more comprehensive view of the situation. You’ll be able to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings and figure out both of your mistakes so you can work it out.
Showing affections doesn’t have to follow a script. In fact, it should be offered wholeheartedly. Once you master the art of appreciating your other half, you’ll soon realize the benefits of your actions. Both of you will have a clear thought of how you want the relationship to go. You’ll quickly apprehend giving an effort in return.
Appreciate Your Significant Other
Try to look for things that can make you acknowledge even the little things that your partner is offering you. Instead of complaining about what they can’t do, be more appreciative enough in giving them compliments for trying their best. Since each of you has your imperfections, it is better to learn to value one another and lower down your standards.
According to relationship researcher John Gottman, in heterosexual relationships, women are the ones to bring up problems 80 percent of the time. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD
Resolve Your Issues Together
Marriage is a commitment that both of you should handle. When experiencing issues, both you and your partner should realize your roles in sustaining a healthy marriage. Both of you should seek resolution no matter how simple and complicated an issue is because you have equal responsibility for keeping the relationship.
Trust Your Partner
Trust is one crucial factor that keeps a marriage. Though you may feel entitled to have the benefit of the doubt, you have to make sure that you fully support your partner in all of his actions. Never initiate a doubtful attitude because it will definitely add negativity to an ongoing marital complication.
Controlling implies suppression, which is unhealthy both physically and mentally. Regulation is about applying conscious thought to our feelings, giving you the power to reduce their intensity. — SUSAN J. O’GRADY, PHD
Contribute To Your Partners Development
Being married, you have the responsibility to help your significant other in attaining his or her overall development. You have to be there for your husband or wife’s emotional, psychological, and behavioral states. You have to contribute to your partner’s growth to allow them to become better versions of themselves.
Since you and your partner have decided to spend your lives together, you should at least try and understand the importance of each of your roles in the relationship. Your marriage will no doubt experience a lot of ups and downs, but your perception of the commitment can save it from falling apart.