How To Help Your Depressed Parent

 

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Seeing your mom or dad in a depressive state more often than not has a vast impact on the offspring’s perspective. Questions like “Is it because of something I did or didn’t do?” and “Am I not enough reason for them to be happy?” may start filling your head at one point. But understand from here on out that it may not even be because of you.

Parents tend to experience some depression when they go through a significant change. It can come right after retiring from work, getting a divorce, losing a beloved, or sending off the kids to college. The symptoms may disappear once they get accustomed to their new life. If the condition remains the same for weeks, though, it’s your job as the child to help your depressed parent in any way possible.

The aim is to learn to regulate your emotions – and note that regulating emotions is not the same as controlling. — SUSAN J. O’GRADY, PHD

Below are the three tips on how to be effective at that.

 

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  1. Recognize Their Pain

 

People, in general, avoid receiving assistance from others who belittle or can’t understand what caused them to feel down. Thus, you need to show your folks that you see where they’re coming from and that you want to help them get over it.

It’ll also be great if you recognize that their negative emotions won’t go away instantly. There’s a process for that. You just have to stay by their side without judgment at all times.

 The practice of gratitude journaling is an effective way to build resilience and optimism, which act as antidotes to that negative voice. Gratitude journaling is a practice of focusing on things in your life that are positive. — SAUNDRA JAIN, MA, LPC, PSYD

  1. Encourage Your Parent To Share Their Woes

 

It is quite common for parents to keep problems to themselves to prevent burdening their children. That can happen as well even when the kids are old enough to live independently. Rather than saying they aren’t OK, therefore, they always put on a happy face in front of the brood.

Despite that façade, you perhaps know your parent too well to realize if they’re truthful or not. In case you notice them going down the depression alley, get out of your way to reassure them that you’re there once they’re ready to talk. Sometimes, individuals need that kind of encouragement to be able to speak up about their issues.

 

  1. CallOr Visit Them Every Day

 

The ideal action when your parent is in a depressive state is to persuade him or her to live with you. Or, move back in with them so that you’ll be able to monitor their condition. However, if your job location doesn’t allow you to do the latter, or your old folks just won’t leave their place, you may resort to regular visits and daily calls instead.

What a depressed parent needs to feel is that they are still valuable to you and other members of the family. The fact that you probably have a life of your own and no longer asks for money from them may amplify their helplessness and hopelessness, which are a couple of depression signs. Hence, you should let them detect your love and care often.

Besides, doing so will give you the opportunity to look for signs of suicidal tendencies. Thoughts of death easily flood a depressed person’s brain, especially when they have nothing to do. You won’t then have regrets too once you stop them from making such a horrible – and irreversible – decision.

 

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We all needed the “good enough” mother, and we also need the “good enough therapist.” We are not perfect. — Sarah Jenkins, MC, LPC

If all else fails, you may coax your mom or dad to get therapy. They may not be amiable at first, but you have to try to help them get out of depression.

 

Teen Early Relationship – What Can You Expect?

 

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Our recent generation of teens is difficult to handle because it is the stage of their lives that they allow themselves to become more adaptive to change not only with their perspective of life but also with their contribution to their society as well.

In the recent list of counseling problems, most parents are experiencing tons of issues with their teens with regards to their relationship with the opposite sex. It somehow creates an impact on their overall development. As of now, most parents are starting to accept the fact that they no longer control this recent era. With that said, parents become fully aware of the things that might happen when their teens indulge in an early relationship.

Of course, necessary as it is for all of us to find and forge an enduring relationship with a loved one, the process of discovering and nurturing healthy intimacy is often a long, and sometimes harrowing, one, comprised of one or more relationships that do not appear to be quite as healthy and suitable as caring parents would like them to be for their offspring. — Brad E Sachs Ph.D.

Forced Maturity

When kids push themselves to become mature, they lose the balance of emotional growth. The harder they imply the needs for the changes, the sooner their perception becomes irrational. They will think that they’re entitled to give obnoxious opinions to those people who don’t seem to like their actions. They become empowered with the idea that they can handle the relationship as much as an adult can.

 

Early Sexual Encounter

The adolescent stage of initial introduction to sexual contact has its own positive and negative side. The teenage exposure to having an immature relationship can bring more curiosity in dealing with sexual intimacy. However, teens are becoming aggressive and liberated that they often forget the restrictions that come along with the action. Soon, it will be too late to realize that the early exposure to sex can bring a lot of health complications.

 

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Parents telling kids how lousy sex is for them has one major drawback – the kids are already having sex and can draw their own conclusions. — Stanton Peele Ph.D.

Multiple Sex Partners

As early as teenagers enter a relationship, they will develop the perception of having ‘too much experience’ where they try to feel free as much as they want. In regards to that, they will think about sex and relationship as something that can come and go. Eventually, they will end up having multiple sex partners because they think they are only allowing themselves to become well-experienced.

 

Teenage Pregnancy

Yes, the highlight of early teenage-relationship is adolescent pregnancy. People can expect it to happen. It creates complication because teenagers who underwent early pregnancy might encounter tons of emotional, psychological, and physical issues. Since they cannot handle the stress of early motherhood, it will cause a problem with maturity. Because of that, some of them might end up getting an abortion.

 

Stress

It is one of the significant things that teenagers can expect when engaging in an early relationship. Most of the times, they will not be able to comprehend the sudden changes that might happen when it comes to assessing their issues. As a result, they will end up complaining about a lot of things concerning their life and eventually get depressed. In severe cases, they might consider harming themselves or committing suicide.

 

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You might think that truly loving someone means caring about them with all of your being – but you can’t really give all of your being to the relationship. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD

Teenagers engaging in early relationships are somehow prone to have complicated lives. In fact, their emotional and psychological health is somehow not ready for the pressures these relationships can give. Consequently, there’ll be tons of issues that they will encounter that would affect their perception of life.

Is Your Marriage Falling Apart? Here’s What You Can Do

 

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Marital issues are inevitable, and couples should understand the importance of its process. There is always a time that both husband and wife will develop a complicated view of their relationship. Sometimes, the decision lies on whether they would end it or try to fix the issues. Here are some counseling tips that you can do when you feel that your marriage is falling apart.

Write down the consequences of your unhealthy habits, including both positives and negatives. The downsides might be so obvious to you that it’s easy to ignore their benefits. — SETH J. GILLIHAN, PHD

Talk About The Problem

Instead of avoiding or starting a conflict, you can as well sit down and talk about the issue that complicates your relationship. From there, both of you will be able to understand what each of you is undergoing emotionally. It will lessen the tension when you try to cooperate in resolving your marital issues instead of ignoring the source of the problem.

 

Listen To Your Partner

Communication is a two-way process. When you want to tell your partner about the things that stress you in a relationship, you should at least try to consider listening to them as well. Listening will help in resolving some misunderstanding and allow both of you to have a more comprehensive view of the situation. You’ll be able to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings and figure out both of your mistakes so you can work it out.

 

Show Affection

Showing affections doesn’t have to follow a script. In fact, it should be offered wholeheartedly. Once you master the art of appreciating your other half, you’ll soon realize the benefits of your actions. Both of you will have a clear thought of how you want the relationship to go. You’ll quickly apprehend giving an effort in return.

 

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Appreciate Your Significant Other

Try to look for things that can make you acknowledge even the little things that your partner is offering you. Instead of complaining about what they can’t do, be more appreciative enough in giving them compliments for trying their best. Since each of you has your imperfections, it is better to learn to value one another and lower down your standards.

According to relationship researcher John Gottman, in heterosexual relationships, women are the ones to bring up problems 80 percent of the time. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD

Resolve Your Issues Together

Marriage is a commitment that both of you should handle. When experiencing issues, both you and your partner should realize your roles in sustaining a healthy marriage. Both of you should seek resolution no matter how simple and complicated an issue is because you have equal responsibility for keeping the relationship.

 

Trust Your Partner

Trust is one crucial factor that keeps a marriage. Though you may feel entitled to have the benefit of the doubt, you have to make sure that you fully support your partner in all of his actions. Never initiate a doubtful attitude because it will definitely add negativity to an ongoing marital complication.

 

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Controlling implies suppression, which is unhealthy both physically and mentally. Regulation is about applying conscious thought to our feelings, giving you the power to reduce their intensity. — SUSAN J. O’GRADY, PHD

Contribute To Your Partners Development

Being married, you have the responsibility to help your significant other in attaining his or her overall development. You have to be there for your husband or wife’s emotional, psychological, and behavioral states. You have to contribute to your partner’s growth to allow them to become better versions of themselves.

Since you and your partner have decided to spend your lives together, you should at least try and understand the importance of each of your roles in the relationship. Your marriage will no doubt experience a lot of ups and downs, but your perception of the commitment can save it from falling apart.

 

 

 

 

Simple Ways To Improve Your Sex Life

 

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It’s quite common for a relationship to get or feel dull over time. In worst cases, you might consider having sex as a less important part of the relationship and won’t acknowledge doing it at all. But that doesn’t mean you have to prioritize it in your life. By following the tips on how to solve your sex life, you will be able to bring the passion back in no time.

By bringing up and addressing problems, a partner is much more likely to get to a resolution or find a positive way to live with unresolvable differences. By just talking about an issue (when done in a constructive way), partners come together as a team to work on it. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD

Have Frank Talks – When you and your partner can go directly into having sex and don’t talk about it, you’ll soon see the act as a requirement and not something that can connect the both of you. However, when you try to ask each other what both of you want in bed, it will allow you to get more comfortable in sharing what you like and what you don’t. Both of you can have the advantage of using sex as a means of understanding each other.

 

Have Time For Sex – You and your significant other probably have a lot of daily things to do, but that doesn’t mean that you should set aside the time for having sex. You can at least spare a moment and bond with your partner so you can feel each other’s connection. Setting time for sex is a necessity because it will allow you to satisfy the desire for intimate sexual intercourse.

 

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Turn Up Your Moods – You don’t have sex just because you need to do it. You have to make use of some methods that can turn up the heat between the two of you and boost the excitement. You can exchange sexy texts messages, you can use some sensual touch to some of your partner’s sensitive parts of the body, or you can spice up the eagerness of wanting to have sex by whispering erotic words.

Think about using music, scents such as candles or lotion, or sensual fabrics such as satin or leather. You can also use erotic stories or art to set the mood. — Rachel Keller, LCSW-C

Don’t Forget The ForeplayForeplay serves as the most significant factor of sex. Aside from helping in the increase of libido, it contributes a huge role in giving satisfaction to and consequently getting an orgasm. It allows increased sensitivity and intense excitement that is beneficial in providing you and your partner an improved and enjoyable sex life.

 

Throw Some Compliments – When you and your partner are having sex, there’s a need for compliments. Most people get embarrassed by their physical appearance, so as a partner you should make sure that your significant other is confident in her own body. It will help in boosting inner energy in performance and can affect endurance as well.

 

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Let Her Take The Lead – A man usually takes the lead in having sex. However, when you allow a woman to initiate sexual pleasure on several occasions, you’ll be amazed at how they can sensually handle the intercourse. In most cases, they tend to be more adventurous and explore different techniques in sexual positions.

In all honesty, complications may eventually arise when a couple loses interest in sex. Sexual intercourse is a vital part of a relationship so people should understand that its purpose is to make a connection.

A satisfying sexual relationship is often crucial to the success of a romantic relationship. — Stuart B. Fensterheim, LCSW

Counseling 101: How To Spice Up Your Relationship

Both you and your partner are married for a while but lately, you feel that both of you have been drifting apart. You feel like there’s something wrong in your relationship but don’t know what it is. You don’t want to break up with your significant other, but you know something has to change. So how can you make your relationship feel fresh again? Here are some counseling tips that can bring back the spark in your relationship.

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