An ugly argument can happen anytime and sadly it can turn out to be worse if not dealt with. It is common in every relationship and sometimes causes a lot of stress when conflict arises. An argument doesn’t help most couples due to the tension that rises up from brutally personal responses that quickly escalates into blame, criticism, and disrespect.
The spousal relationship also experiences the greatest impact of external stress, which makes it even more important to actively tend to this relationship on a regular basis. — Toni Falcone Ph.D.
So what can you do to stop an argument?
There are certain things that you have to consider in order for you to stay focused on the disagreements. You need to allow yourself to manage positive response rather than committing impulsive actions that can make the situation worse. Better yet, don’t let the emotional struggle take place and try to control the circumstances as much as possible.
Relax and stay calm
Some statements can trigger your patience. Do not lash out at your partner by answering intimidating responses. Instead, take a deep breath and slowly think about what you are going to say. Avoid shouting and speaking loudly to be able to let each other express their sentiments. Do not ask a taunting question that will make you hate the answer even more.
Though it can be scary to vent your anger, frustration and resentments, it is the release of these feelings in a structured context that actually allows two people to move past them and later start liking each other again. — Seth Meyers Psy.D.
Understand the value of communication
Arguing is not considered a form of communication because it only creates noise and conflict. Both you and your partner should understand that talking with each other should have to be as open as possible. However, if you can’t say anything nice, then just don’t say anything that may hurt the other person’s feelings. Communication should have to be honest, calm, and engaging. Both of you have to express your opinions in a clear and healthy way.
Consider your emotions
Both you and your partner are under the influence of stress when you are arguing. You should consider your emotional behavior regardless of how the other one is acting. Take responsibility for your personal power to control the situation and resist answering bait questions that can trigger both your patience. Always remember that both of you are emotionally vulnerable, so think about the proper words you’ll have to use during an argument. If, however, stress and anxiety are causing you to be more impatient than usual, do reach out to your doctor – you might need to take anxiety supplements to help calm you down.
Admit the shortcomings
Dominance has something to do with an argument and it can overshadow the relationship. That is why the willingness to compromise and resolve the issue can soften a heated situation. Consider the response such as “you may be right,” “I understand,” and “I’m sorry.” Those responses don’t necessarily mean you accept defeat. It will change the direction of the argument and avoid its worse outcome instead. This will help you think of a much better way to express your opinion rather than directly attacking the person.
One of the common misconceptions in relationships is when one partner believes the other should automatically know what they want or need from them. Learning to communicate openly and clearly in therapy about your emotional needs can help to enhance your connection. — Wendy Salazar, MFT
A couple’s argument is unavoidable and can happen anytime. The disagreements are always there and both parties will try to win over the other. But if you just sit back and think of the reason why you should not continue the situation, you’ll probably end up discovering things you might not know about yourself. Maybe, just maybe, those arguments are not worth fighting for after all.